every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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