that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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