Just mADE A PArabola og urine
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
