Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
In America we eat man semen.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
