She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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