the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
