we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
