i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize