found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
