standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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