I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
