no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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