Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
