im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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