She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
