GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
