Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize