Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So squirting runs in the family.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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