do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
