just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How naked do you want me to be?
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