is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I intend to get homeless drunk
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She made me pour olive oil on her.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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