I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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