I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
