I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
