Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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