You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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