She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
