You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He shit in the fireplace
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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