i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
