About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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