how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
