dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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