Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
