Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
