So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Pooping to opera.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
