She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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