she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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