I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
