question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
