I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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