She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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