Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
