ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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