first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Nicole vs. Life
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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