Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize