he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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