My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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