I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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