Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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