I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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