i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
