all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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