My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Buhtt sex?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Boobs speak an international language.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize