Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
