You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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