Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
