There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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