Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
