Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
