so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
