She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It was like getting head from an anaconda
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
