please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
