After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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