I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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