She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
