I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
