Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
