Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
