I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
