dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
its not stalking. its research.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize