dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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