i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
