I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
