If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Two words: blizzard sex
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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